These are the actual words of one of my clients when she looked back on her journey of (the first) 6 months of coaching with me (or rather nearly 8 months, as anyone who has worked with me knows that I always invest a lot of time – even before we have a proper contract in place – into getting to know the individual whom I sense I would really want to work with, the vast majority of who then become clients).
It is amazing how that one decision, however, can create such a huge difference in someone’s life. A difference in everything – from her business (she almost immediately re-structured her offering and increased her pricing), to her family life and health.
You see, the majority of my clients come from very corporate, male-dominated backgrounds. They often ‘grew up’ in that environment, and where they were taught to believe that if something is ‘worth it’, it has to feel challenging, almost difficult. That striving is good.
It’s a system that tells us that anything that is outside of us is valuable. And that you need to be able to do it all on your own, otherwise you are weak.
How sad is that?
But when you realise that what is truly precious is either already within you or coming to you, striving is no longer necessary.
And that there is nothing wrong with seeking support – psychological help and/or coaching – as long as it feels empowering. It’s likely that where you need help is in getting clarity – on what it is that you actually want, in terms of your business and career and life as a whole; and then to put the past to where it belongs (in the past), and create a future that is not dependent on that past.
If you think about it, our thoughts are the outcome of our learning, so they are a product of the past. We have 75,000 thoughts a day, and 95% of them are repetitive. So, again – think about it: if we keep thinking the same thoughts over and over again, we are simply re-creating more of the familiar past, rather than exciting new future.
Putting past back where it belongs really means allowing ourselves to start thinking different thoughts (which in turn inform different feelings and therefore new behaviours). Creating a new personality (personal reality). Becoming someone different.
In the case of my clients – that ‘different’ is always really about becoming more of themselves. Their genius, confident, creative, joyful, abundant (financially and otherwise), calm selves. That someone who knows what’s important, how their life should look, and the value they provide to their clients.
So the decision to invest in themselves is really about giving themselves permission to start stripping off the layers of conditioning, making them believe certain things about how life and themselves should be.
And before that point, they wouldn’t have even given themselves a chance to consider any other options. To apply a wider lens. One that’s based on what they actually want – not what everyone else around them tells them they should want or have. And finally – to become more than ok with being who they are.
And that is where, with a gentle yet bold guidance, magic starts to happen – as they, one step at the time, start creating life truly on their terms.
If this is something that you’d like to explore for yourself, I’d encourage you to send me a private message so we can talk more.